TCF of Charlotte FAQ

How do I know if it’s too soon after my child’s death to attend?
No one can say with certainty when is the right time to come to a meeting. Sometimes family members come shortly after the child has died while some will wait longer. Some people who attend shortly after the child’s death may decide not to come back until they’re more ready. This is a personal decision.

Do I need a reservation before I come to a meeting?
No reservations are needed. Just come whenever you feel up to it.

If I go to a meeting, will I have to talk?
No one is required to talk at any meeting. We understand how difficult that can be when our grief is so fresh. We do ask that you listen, however.

Is there a charge to attend?
There is never a charge to attend a TCF meeting. We rely on voluntary donations from members, friends, and the community at large.

My child was an adult and didn’t live at home. Can I still go to a meeting? 
Our meetings are open to all families that have experienced the death of a child, at any age, from any cause. Regardless of our child’s age, we in TCF believe our children will always be thought of as just that . . . our children.

My spouse won’t come with me. Can I come alone?
Yes. We all grieve differently and your spouse or significant other may not be ready to take part just yet . . . or ever.

Can I bring a friend with me the first time for support?
Of course, you can bring a friend, but we ask that they, as well as all members, respect each other’s privacy. It is important for us to be able to share freely within our group and be sure confidences will be respected.

Do men attend meetings?
Yes.  Men grieve, too, and are welcome to attend our meetings for support.  The men generally have their own confidential breakout session during the meeting.

What happens at a meeting?
Some meetings we simply introduce ourselves and share our thoughts and feelings. At other times, we have short programs before or after the sharing time. The programs may include a brief guest speaker, viewing a video tape, or listening to an audio tape or CD.  We also have special months when we hold a balloon launch or have a memorial candle lighting. Books, video tapes, CDs, and pamphlets are also available from our Chapter’s Library on a loan basis to help individuals through the grief process.  We end each meeting with a social period and refreshments.

My child died from _____.    Will I still be welcome?
Yes. All families that have experienced the death of a child at any age, from any cause, are welcome.

Do you offer any lanquage translations?
Yes we offer Spanish translation.

Do you have a support group for siblings?
Yes, we have a separate support group for siblings.

Religion doesn’t matter to me anymore. Can people at a meeting accept that?
The Compassionate Friends has no religious affiliation.   You will find TCF members are very tolerant of any views. After the death of a child, many priorities, as well as values, change.

I notice the meeting is in a church. Do I have to belong to the church to attend? 
We have no religious affiliation at all. Our meetings are held at St Matthew Catholic Church because they are kind enough to share their facilities with us.

I have babysitting problems. Would it be all right to bring my five-year-old with me?
While we understand the difficulties of finding child care, we must ask that any children attending with you be old enough to understand the meeting discussions and not be upset by them.  TCF of Charlotte will be forming a sibling group for surviving siblings, 18 years or older.

My child died seven years ago, and I postponed my grief work. Now it’s catching up with me. Is it too late to come now?
We all grieve differently. Many parents don’t feel the need for a support group until years after the death of a child. It’s all right to come whenever you are ready, whether it’s soon after your child’s death, months later, or years later.

How long do people come to meetings?
People attend meetings until they no longer feel a need. Some attend just a few meetings while others come for years. Some are so thankful for the helpful support they’ve received that they stay to help our leadership so they can be there for the next persons who walk through the doors seeking help.

Why does TCF recommend that I attend three meetings before deciding if it’s for me?
Often, the first meeting brings a lot of emotions to the surface and this may make the first meeting difficult. Some say that they bring home the pain of others after listening to their stories. Attending three meetings gives you time enough to allow your emotions to even out and to understand that in sharing there is healing.